Now that my boys are of dating age I wanted to remind them how to treat a lady. I printed this out for them:
Just as we've taught you new skills throughout your life, I wanted to give you guidelines for your dating life as well. Some of it comes naturally simply because you're a good person and you care about someone, but some habits can be learned and I wanted to help you because I love you and I want you to be happy in life AND in love. Please take this seriously even though you "already know all of this."
HOW TO SHOW SOMEONE YOU CARE:
⁃ Be respectful. Listen when she talks. Hold the door for her. Look her in the eye. No PDA. Her body belongs to her. You don't touch it without permission.
⁃ Be thoughtful. Send good morning texts. Give her compliments. Give small gifts randomly. Pay attention to what she likes. Let her choose what you watch or do. It is appropriate for a gentleman to pay for his date, but there are times when you're young that it is okay to "go dutch" (you each pay for your own).
⁃ Celebrate your big days. Acknowledge her birthday, Valentine's Day, Anniversaries (first kiss), Christmas, or any day that means something to you, with a thoughtful gift or card.
⁃ Respect her space. You are each individuals. You don't always have to be together. She has her friends, you have yours. Sometimes they will be mutual, sometimes they won't. Do not, under any circumstance, try to control her.
⁃ Communicate! Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel. And keep in mind that having a fight doesn't mean you have to break up. Problems always arise, but they can be worked out with calm communication. If you're meant to be, you'll find a way to make it work. If not, part amicably and continue your quest for the one.
⁃ Be consistent. Treat her the same when you're around your friends as you do when you're alone.
⁃ Show self control. Respect her body. Love her for who she is, not for what you might get from her. Sex releases hormones that connect 2 people in ways that are only meant for marriage. Respect that in her. This is very emotional for a girl and you should not take that from her. Not only that, but respect the dreams the 2 of you have. A baby really throws a wrench in things. Love her enough to wait.
⁃ Self evaluate. It is imperative, in any relationship, that you self evaluate periodically to make sure you are holding up your end of the relationship.
I hope they take these tidbits to heart. And I hope they each find a partner in life that treats them the same way.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Thursday, May 19, 2011
My grandmother
My grandmother was a wonderful woman. This week I watched an interview I did with her in 1996, when she was 81 years old. I sat down with her and asked her about her life, videoed it, and sent it to all of my cousins...all 24 of them. I can not tell you how happy I am that I did that. That has been 15 years ago now and it does not seem that long ago. My grandmother passed away 3 years and 3 months after our talk. I only wish I had more 'normal' moments of my time spent with my grandmother on tape; the moments when we were just living our lives and doing everyday things.
When I was growing up I lived in GA and my grandmother lived in TN. We would see her at Christmas usually, sometimes Thanksgiving, and always during the summer. Some summers she would come spend a few weeks with us. Other summers my sister and I would go spend some time with her. We loved going to Granny's! Anytime we went to visit we could be sure there would be a Hershey's chocolate cake with coconut waiting for us. We would have cereal at her little kitchen table by the window that looked out onto my Uncle Jack's farm. I can sometimes still smell my Granny's house. Oh, how I love when that happens!
Granny was a lady with a wonderful sense of humor. She loved to laugh. She loved the children. I remember her always being interested in what my niece, Shelbie, was doing when she was 3, 4, and 5 years old. I only wish that my children could have had the chance to meet her. I was proud though that, when I was watching the video the other night and Chad came in the room, he was able to correctly answer my question of, "Do you know who this is?" I want them to know who she is and what she stood for. She was a believer in the traditional family. She raised her 8 children in the mountains of WV, grew what they ate, and went hunting for squirrels and rabbits with my grandpa. She had 3 babies in diapers at one time and remembered hanging diapers on the line in winter and her fingers freezing to the line. We have it so easy these days! I can't imagine working the way she worked. But those were the times. You just did what you had to do.
I miss my Granny. I miss the times spent in her house in TN, staying up late with my cousin, watching The Price Is Right with Granny sitting in her rocker, feeding the cats on her front porch, or just sitting and listening to the adults talk. It was a sense of belonging, of family. My family. And she was at the heart of it.
When I was growing up I lived in GA and my grandmother lived in TN. We would see her at Christmas usually, sometimes Thanksgiving, and always during the summer. Some summers she would come spend a few weeks with us. Other summers my sister and I would go spend some time with her. We loved going to Granny's! Anytime we went to visit we could be sure there would be a Hershey's chocolate cake with coconut waiting for us. We would have cereal at her little kitchen table by the window that looked out onto my Uncle Jack's farm. I can sometimes still smell my Granny's house. Oh, how I love when that happens!
Granny was a lady with a wonderful sense of humor. She loved to laugh. She loved the children. I remember her always being interested in what my niece, Shelbie, was doing when she was 3, 4, and 5 years old. I only wish that my children could have had the chance to meet her. I was proud though that, when I was watching the video the other night and Chad came in the room, he was able to correctly answer my question of, "Do you know who this is?" I want them to know who she is and what she stood for. She was a believer in the traditional family. She raised her 8 children in the mountains of WV, grew what they ate, and went hunting for squirrels and rabbits with my grandpa. She had 3 babies in diapers at one time and remembered hanging diapers on the line in winter and her fingers freezing to the line. We have it so easy these days! I can't imagine working the way she worked. But those were the times. You just did what you had to do.
I miss my Granny. I miss the times spent in her house in TN, staying up late with my cousin, watching The Price Is Right with Granny sitting in her rocker, feeding the cats on her front porch, or just sitting and listening to the adults talk. It was a sense of belonging, of family. My family. And she was at the heart of it.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Carter is 10!
My Baby turns 10 today. Where has the time gone? Go here to read how I feel about motherhood in general because everything I said when Chad turned 10 applies to Carter as well.
But Carter as an individual...WOW. Where do I start? Carter is an example of extremes. He is generally a very happy kid, laughing and cracking jokes, and just enjoying life. But, get him mad and you better watch out! It is all or nothing with him. I love his passion!
His babyhood included many sleepless nights. He just did not WANT to sleep through the night and there was no way I could make him. This was a big change from Chad and kind of rocked my world. He didn't want to miss any of the action I guess. But, OH, what a charmer he was. You couldn't be mad at Carter. He had a quick smile for everyone and was just so doggone CUTE! He has always been just loveably adorable. Even Uncle James can't resist Carter.
He is the youngest of the 3 boy cousins and he takes what comes with that. But he takes it in stride and shares and plays nice and wants everyone to be happy.
And if there is ONE thing he inherited from his Daddy it was a quick wit (and his looks and his dimple ...). He is a hilarious kid and always has a quick quip to make us laugh or keep things in perspective. He is incredibly insightful and you absolutely never know what Carter might say next. He keeps us laughing, that is for sure!
And did I mention brilliant? LOL He makes all A's in school with very little effort. He was in the gifted program in Columbia County, but didn't quite make it here in WV. He is very well behaved and always well liked by his teachers. School is no problem for Carter and I couldn't be more proud.
Carter is a wonderful friend, a perfect son, and a loving grandson. He loves soccer, music, and creating. He is a free spirit who loves life and is the most thankful child I've ever seen. He is 10. But he'll always be my baby.
But Carter as an individual...WOW. Where do I start? Carter is an example of extremes. He is generally a very happy kid, laughing and cracking jokes, and just enjoying life. But, get him mad and you better watch out! It is all or nothing with him. I love his passion!
His babyhood included many sleepless nights. He just did not WANT to sleep through the night and there was no way I could make him. This was a big change from Chad and kind of rocked my world. He didn't want to miss any of the action I guess. But, OH, what a charmer he was. You couldn't be mad at Carter. He had a quick smile for everyone and was just so doggone CUTE! He has always been just loveably adorable. Even Uncle James can't resist Carter.
He is the youngest of the 3 boy cousins and he takes what comes with that. But he takes it in stride and shares and plays nice and wants everyone to be happy.
And if there is ONE thing he inherited from his Daddy it was a quick wit (and his looks and his dimple ...). He is a hilarious kid and always has a quick quip to make us laugh or keep things in perspective. He is incredibly insightful and you absolutely never know what Carter might say next. He keeps us laughing, that is for sure!
And did I mention brilliant? LOL He makes all A's in school with very little effort. He was in the gifted program in Columbia County, but didn't quite make it here in WV. He is very well behaved and always well liked by his teachers. School is no problem for Carter and I couldn't be more proud.
Carter is a wonderful friend, a perfect son, and a loving grandson. He loves soccer, music, and creating. He is a free spirit who loves life and is the most thankful child I've ever seen. He is 10. But he'll always be my baby.
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